I wake up everyday, even though I don’t want to. My motivation usually being the barking of my dog and the sunlight shining brightly through the window onto my bed. If the world revolved around me, I’d stay there all day, but my world revolves around others, and I think that’s really the only thing that keeps me going.
I think it’s easy to take for granted the inherent joy that comes with life, until we lose it. It’s hard to be honest about that loss though, because all we ever see surrounding us is the happiness of others. I don’t like pretending to be happy when I’m not, so this is where it’s okay to be unhappy. We can hope it won’t be forever, find ways to cope, and share any encouragement.
I admit that I get caught up in getting to the end of this journey to happiness. I want to be happy right now, and to feel better. While that’s reasonable, I also am trying to remember that happiness can also be found in the process. Maybe I don’t feel the all encompassing joy for life that I sometimes have, but there are little accomplishments and moments where you can catch a glimpse of what was felt in the past, and that can help you get through a little further.
I’ve been on this journey a long time. Sometimes I attain happiness for a while, but it slips from my grasp again and I’m left feeling empty and cold. So this blog is about the work I do everyday (to the best of my ability) to get through, and to hopefully make it back to happiness.
I struggle with anxiety and mood problems (which are mainly on the depressive side). I’m working on CBT and DBT skills, and I’m also on many medications. I’ve struggled with these issues for about a decade now. I started this blog as an outlet while I’m struggling to become well again.
I’m not sure what recovery looks like for me. What I hope to achieve is coming to a place where I enjoy my life. Depression sucks the joy out of everything you do. It’s sucked joy from my hobbies and interests, my friends, my husband, my dog, and my career. I get scared sometimes that it won’t go away, that I’ll never recover. I know that’s a lie made up by my depressed brain, because all of the evidence says that medication and therapy work. So, I’m putting in the work, because that’s all I can do right now. I’m trusting that it will payoff.
This is my contact page, and since I check my email religiously, if I receive anything, you can expect a response very shortly.
I’m open to stories and insights, complaints, encouragement, basically any and every thing you could want to send, drop it to me here, and I will get back to you.