As you know, if you read my last post, I haven’t been doing very well with DBT therapy. I’ve been putting it off because I’m scared. 

I’ve been trying to distract myself. I’ve started knitting, sewing and signed up to volunteer at an animal rescue. 

None of these things are bad, but my husband and I talked and I realized they’re all bandaid solutions. I’m looking for the next thing to make me happy. A quick fix. Something that will temporarily give me hope and a little joy. Nothing solves the problem though. That’s why I need to keep working on therapy. I need to find healthy ways to cope with my feelings. 

Medications are only going to get me so far. And hopefully they’ll continue to help more as I’m getting all the way up to dose. I have been doing better with the magnesium and upping my Latuda. I also think the lamotrigine has had a good effect as well. I’m thankful for all those little boosts, I don’t know how I’d be without those things. 

I’m still scared though. Every day is scary because I don’t know how to get through it. I’m scared every night that the anxiety is going to come back. I’m just trying to keep pushing through the fear and get to the next day. I just hope that this all evens out eventually. I hope that I won’t be so afraid. 


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