Today in therapy I talked about my unofficial diagnosis (which continues to be affirmed) of bipolar ii. It definitely fits, and my therapist thinks so too. Maybe one of these days I’ll get around to writing what hypomania is like for me, but best to leave that alone right now.
At this point, since upping both Latuda and Lamictal, I am in a super brain fog. I’ll stare at the computer trying to do school and I have to work in small bursts to get things done. It’s definitely taking a toll on my grades, but I should be able to manage.
It’s still frustrating and I hope it lessens. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for the meds and that they help. I know I’ve been complaining about them not working, and now I’ve switched to complaining about side effects. The only reason I really worry is that I know I’ll be on meds for the rest of my life, so I want them to work for me. I’d like to have a career eventually and not be a total zombie. So I worry, but I’m sure it’ll wear off.
My depression has lifted a lot. I scored a 17 out of 27 instead of a 24 like last week (on the depression score my therapist gives me), so that’s been nice. I feel like I can actually enjoy time with my family and friends again.
Implementing a daily schedule has also been really helpful. I really do feel so much more functional.