Sadness

I’m still doing better, but I’ve been overwhelmed with a sadness the past few days. Probably due to cutting my Latuda for a few days (something I couldn’t help). 

My pdoc agreed to up my Lamictal, so I’ll be taking 300mg total. I think that will continue to help. 

When I feel this sadness, I get scared. I’m always scared it won’t leave me alone. I don’t want to feel this way forever. I know I won’t, and having been happy recently helps, but every time I start to feel this way, I completely forget what happiness feels like. 

My therapist and I talked more about my tentative diagnosis. Bipolar ii is scary. Luckily, I don’t have psychosis or full blown mania, but depression is hard. I’m glad I haven’t been hospitalized and I hope I won’t ever have to be, now that I’m on medications. 

I’m just holding onto hope. I’ll feel better again soon. 

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